Children — those sticky, mucous-leaking, disaster-prone calamity goblins! — tend to have an unhealthy fixation with their parents’ gadgets. By ‘unhealthy,’ I mean for us, and not for them: no matter how many times your pudge-kneed toddler drops your iPhone into the toilet, common decency prevents us from clobbering the little monster for the affront. The only thing to do is buy yourself a new iPhone, then try to distract your feral, post-fetal doppelganger from indulging his or her innate impetus to destroy it with a plastic toy simulacrum.
Toy makers have been banking on just this for years. Consider all of the plastic laptops and cell phones and MP3 players on the shelves of your local Toys ‘R’ Us. Every gadget under the sun has a bright plastic analogue, ready to be sacrificed to your child’s agency of destruction and save your most cherished gadgets.
Apple’s new iPad, when it is released, is going to be a particulaly tempting object for the average kid to mindlessly throw, smash, bend, smear bodily fluids upon, or all of the above. But Fisher-Price — old saws at this game — have you covered. They’ve just announced their own iPad-inspired device for children, called the iXL.
It looks pretty good. It allows kids to look at photos, read e-books, play music and games, and even dink around with remedial art and note taking programs. Of course, since your kid’s probably just going to smash the dog in the head with it, then use it to blow up the microwave when you’re not looking, the $79.99 price tag might seem a bit much… but it’s better to be out $80 than $499, don’t you think?
