Steve Jobs: Apple Tablet “will be the most important thing I’ve ever done.”

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The ever vibrating Tablet hype machine has finally attained the emotional timbre of giddy, bladder-evacuating hysteria.

How else to characterize this Techcrunch post, in which Michael Arrington, citing “senior Apple execs and friends,” says that Steve Jobs is saying that the forthcoming Apple Tablet “will be the most important thing I’ve ever done.”

Hearsay? Sure. But Techcrunch’s post has already garnered nearly 200 breathless comments from Giddy Apple fans expecting the Tablet, at the very least, to be a flawless amalgam of iPhone technology with Dr. Durand Durand’s Excessive Machine.

I think we’re officially at the point in the hype cycle that whatever Apple pulls out on stage on Wednesday is going to be a disappointment. The Apple Tablet’s OLED display could function as a Stargate-like dimensional portal to the lanugo-soft inner crevices of Elysium’s ethereal constabulary of virgin angels, and people would still be disappointed that the P.A. Semi chip inside was only sentient, and not — as anticipated — psychokinetic.