This must be just about the worst gadget ever, which of course makes it the most fun to write about gadget ever. It’s a love-detecting bra, which will only open its front clasp if “true love” is detected. Where “true love” means “iPhone” and “detected” means Bluetooth.
The video is really worth watching (just wait a second to get past the annoying scene-setter at the beginning), showing scientists, bras popping off busty mannequins and the “science” behind the True Love Detector.
The bra works by measuring the wearer’s heart rate, and sending the reading to an iPhone app. The app then determines the true-love quotient and – if it is reached – pops the clasp, freeing the breasts within. And of course, a raised heart rate is the perfect error-free metric for determining whether to unclasp a boulder holder.
Let’s imagine some other situations. Running a marathon? Don’t run too hard, or your support will be magically ejected. Running from a suspicious man in an underground car-park, then fumbling and dropping your keys as you try desperately to reach the safety of your car? What could be more reassuring in this potential assault situation than having your breasts released at the moment of maximum terror?
But let’s get back to the video. I love – and I mean truly love – the part where the men are trying to rip open the bra, but are foiled by the Bluetooth clasp, all while the wearer stands there, confident and with her heart rate remaining at a safe, non-true-love level.
The bra is, as you surely suspected, just a Valentines Day promo from underwear maker Ravijour. Not that I wouldn’t buy one if I could. After all, what modern woman could resist a man who gave her this gift? The gift of true love?