This Is Microsoft’s Best Product Of CES, Hands Down! [Caption Contest]



LAS VEGAS, CES 2012 – There are some really awesome products on the showroom floor of CES this year, but we think we’ve found the greatest Microsoft product of all time. OF ALL TIME! Microsoft lipbalm. Admit it. You’re jealous that you don’t have your own stick yet aren’t you?

To make up for your absence at CES, we’re going to have a caption contest, and the winner gets a bag of CES swag that we got from the floor today.

To enter the contest, just comment on this article with your caption for the Microsoft Chapstick picture. Funniest caption wins and we’ll announce the winner on Friday, Jan. 13th at 12pm PST. Good luck.

Update: Our apologies for the delay in selecting a winner. With over 240 entrants it was incredibly difficult to proclaim one person the winner, but we’ve selected commenter Fred Maxwell as the winner of the contest. Thanks for participating in the contest everyone.

Deals of the Day

280 responses to “This Is Microsoft’s Best Product Of CES, Hands Down! [Caption Contest]”

  1. BrianVoll says:

    “OEM ‘Micro’-bacon flavored ‘soft’ chapstick for sale, get yer’ OEM ‘Micro’-bacon flavored ‘soft’ chapstick today for $79.99”

    “Free Xmint chapstick included for an additional $6.99 a year”

  2. Fred De La Peña says:

    lipBalmer XP! … Coming soon, Balmer antiperspirant for those “I’ve got nothing important to say so I’ll just dance around and chant for 20 minutes” kinda days!

  3. Anthony Ham says:

    “Microsoft Chapstick:  Because you’re going to want to kiss us when you see our great, new toys!”

  4. Fred Maxwell says:

    Did you want the Microsoft Lip Balm Home Basic, Microsoft Lib Balm Home Premium, Microsoft Lip Balm Business, Microsoft Lip Balm Enterprise, or Microsoft Lip Balm Ultimate? 

  5. Fred Maxwell says:

    Finally, Microsoft releases a product that can spread viruses to the users.

  6. Brendan Digney says:

    “In a move that today shocked the entire industry, Microsoft finally gave up hope of removing the ‘Blue screen of Death’ and have instead launched a new campaign targeted at removing blue lips and cold sores. Lets just hope that they prove a bit more successful with this than they did windows, or you never know…. We could all end up with ‘Blue lips of Death’ “

  7. Brendan Digney says:

    Considered pioners in preventing computer viruses, microsoft now feel it time to move antivirus to the next level… The user!

  8. volodoscope says:

    Do you also need an Anti-Virus from this?

  9. Zachary Bardwell says:

    Microsoft Chapstick: The only thing that they did not copy from Apple.

  10. FriarNurgle says:

    Each one is personally tested by Steve Ballmer himself.

  11. Tim Griskus says:

    We are giving you this one of a kind Microsoft Lip Balm cause god knows we didn’t release anything else at CES this year that wet your whistle.

  12. Fredy Rosal says:

    MS Lip Balm 2012 … to be released sometime next year … 

  13. Jake says:

    “We’ve got you now, Apple!”

  14. Forest Walker says:

    Blue screens, crashes, and general rage related to use of Windows really chapping your ass? Try new Microsoft brand assbalm!

  15. Sam Keyes says:

    New Microsoft chapstick, now in Apple flavor!

  16. Fred Maxwell says:

    It’s like Apple’s new iBalm, except that it doesn’t work well.

  17. Sam Keyes says:

    New Microsoft Chapstick, now in Apple flavor! 

  18. thomas simmonds says:

    So much better than windows vista!

  19. WardC says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: Specially formulated for frigidly cold conditions like when Steve Ballmer enters any room!

  20. MacHead84 says:

    Microsoft Chapstick so you dont leave your lips as vulnerable as our operating systems!

  21. Nicholas Gibson says:

    They had to make the background black so they would not have to say APPLE flavored.

  22. Fred Maxwell says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: It works for a while. Then you have to convince some guy at a call center in India that you really didn’t steal it.

  23. Alexander Chawen says:

    Mircosoft’s CEO Balmer, worried about his legacy particularly in the face of rival Apple’s ubiquity, insisted that a memorable product be a part of their final major presence at CES, and thus, borrowing from Balmer’s own namesake, the “mBalm” was born–a product so useful, it would bridge the gap across Android, Apple, and Mircosoft alike.  

  24. Stevaroo01 says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm 2012… Use this before kissing us goodbye!

  25. Tyson619 says:

    Microsoft Chapstick : We bet you to it Apple and Google HAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!

  26. Fred Maxwell says:

    This one comes free with your computer.  When it stops working, you will have to buy a new version that costs $200 and looks totally different.

  27. Fred Maxwell says:

    This is Lip Balm 7 and it will work much better than Lip Balm Vista.  Trust us…

  28. Matthew Bissell says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm it just works

  29. Fred De La Peña says:

    Microsoft drops the  F-Balm

  30. Georgesab says:

    I’m a person with chapped lips, and Microsoft Lipbalm was my idea.

  31. gtibrett says:

    And you thought we only put lip STICK on our pigs…

  32. al friede says:

    MicroChap® – We really know hot to ‘chap’ your hide!

  33. Fred Maxwell says:

    Microsoft introduces new “Microsoft Lip Balm,” calling it a “revolutionary product” that showcases the “kind of innovative thinking that has kept Microsoft at the forefront of the technological revolution.”

  34. Richard Mears says:

    Pay lip service to great design – with Microsoft Lipbalm!

  35. Matthew Bissell says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm, Its not only apple who can make a whole new product and we can sell this in its millions.. Suck on that apple. 

  36. Irving Torres says:

    “Because Microsoft is user oriented and knows consumers need a little something to do while their PC is frozen” WHAT. UP.  

  37. Richard Mears says:

    MS-Lipbalm: Soothes fanboy’s lip.

  38. Steven Watson says:

    You want me to put that where?

  39. Steven Watson says:

    You want me to put that where?

  40. KCassell says:

    It’s not only good for lips.

  41. Clayton Galea says:

    Due to lots of blue screens and fails in presentations the Microsoft lipbalm turns your : ( to a : )

  42. Fred Maxwell says:

    LAS VEGAS, CES 2012 –  Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer made a surprise appearance introducing Microsoft’s new lip balm.  Ballmer took to the stage, waving a tube of the lip balm and exclaiming “No more chapped lips! No more chapped lips!”  After five minutes of dancing that left Ballmer soaked in sweat and the audience dumbfounded, Ballmer walked off the stage, pumping his fist in the air and yelling “Lip balm! Lip balm! Lip balm!”

  43. DrM47145 says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm… wow! They really Think Different!

  44. Michael says:

    Microsoft will never leave you chafed again!

  45. Michael Chambers says:

    Microsoft…perfect for moisturizing tiny lips.

  46. jdawgplu says:

    Because if you suck as much as we do, you’ll need it!

  47. JXChain says:

    Introducing Microsoft Lipbalm, the first lipbalm to feature steve ballmer’s breath flavor.

  48. Rachelle Pavao Goldenberg says:

    Microsoft….now a solution for when their programs “chap your hide”.  (for those not down with the cliche’  chap your hide = make you angry. 

  49. Richard Mears says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm: Reaches for the parts that Apple refreshes.

  50. Jesper Andersson says:

    Microsoft Medical Lipbalm – Turns blue in contact with infections

  51. Carl Wooldridge says:

    Microsoft Introduces Zune Mini to compete against 2009’s iPod Shuffle.

  52. Bob Pasko says:

    Steve Ballmer wants me to meet him where and do what with this lip balm?????????

  53. CoreyALynch says:

    Would You Like To Open This Lip Balm? Yes Or No? > Yes Are You Sure Norton360 Says this is unsafe are you sure that you want to continue? > Yes > System Failure! Please Reboot Your System and wait 5hours for us to detect it and do nothing about it.

  54. Jay Jarcik says:


  55. CoreyALynch says:

    Microsoft- I went into Xerox’s home and it was there thought i would copy it just like all of our products.

  56. CoreyALynch says:

    Here today, ready for tomorrow!

  57. dcj001 says:

    Microsoft lip balm.

    It is, without a doubt, our best performing product!

  58. Commonman says:

    New Microsoft 8 suppositories to fight off all kinds of viruses. Available November 2015.

  59. Samuel Shallenberger says:

    Hey, it’s better than Vista, right?

  60. VotersRights says:

    Now in Blue Lips of Death flavor!

  61. Luke says:

    This ain’t chap stick. Grip plastic applicator firmly, bend over, insert.  Basically a summary of all my Microsoft purchases.

  62. Aaron Renner says:

    MicroChap – for when the Winblows!

  63. David McLeod says:

    After years of sucking it, Microsofts lips were a little chapped.

  64. BrooklynTrees says:

    For Apped Lips

  65. BrooklynTrees says:

    Chapping lips and asses for 30 years

  66. William J. Prah says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: One set of lips per license please!

  67. Luke says:

    If you’re gonna take it in the mouth, it helps to have slippery lips.

  68. Sumit Jaisingh says:

    no blue lips (read screen) of death

  69. Nathan Glynn says:

    Lip Balm by Microsoft. Making lips soft 404ever.

  70. Stuart Rector says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: The easiest way to contract a virus through your lips.

  71. Garrett Polo says:

    Introducing our revolutionary new stylus for the windows 8 tablets.  Finger smudges are now a thing of the past.

  72. Tdowson89 says:

    Works even if your lips are chapped into 32 or 64 bit(s)!

  73. iDaBoss says:

    if you have to explain it…

  74. iDaBoss says:

    too long and didn’t tie in the lip balm

  75. HuntBran says:

    Damn girl! I used this stuff and now my lips are micro SOFT!!

  76. iDaBoss says:

    “Balmer antiperspirant”, good idea

  77. hazzer07 says:

    Its micro. It’s soft. It’s Microsoft lip balm.

  78. iDaBoss says:

    accurate but lacking in humorosity

  79. iDaBoss says:


  80. iDaBoss says:

    you forgot to include a joke

  81. bonro001 says:

    Microsoft, #1 in lip service since 1975

  82. iDaBoss says:

    “looks totally different” ….. wait what?

  83. iDaBoss says:


  84. bonro001 says:

    Your lips, our software

  85. iDaBoss says:

    this not make sense

  86. Barry Renyar says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm – helping nerds kinect

  87. iDaBoss says:

    this is a good idea. you were supposed to write a joke.

  88. Jay Jarcik says:

    “Ballmers Lipbalm”…For all your virus needs!

  89. Fred Maxwell says:

    Yes.  Windows 7 looks totally different than Windows XP, for example.  You were aware that consumers are often struck by changes in the GUI when they upgrade to new versions of Windows, weren’t you?

  90. Barry Renyar says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm – the only product where we excel

  91. karmaisabitch2011 says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm – For When We Rub You the Wrong Way.

  92. Fred Maxwell says:

    I’m well known for having a good sense of humor, and the post has 4 likes as I write this, so I am pretty sure that the issue is you, not the post.

  93. erfon elijah says:


  94. erfon elijah says:


  95. erfon elijah says:


  96. erfon elijah says:


  97. askmewhyihateyou says:

    Okay, I give. I don’t get this one.

  98. erfon elijah says:


  99. erfon elijah says:


  100. erfon elijah says:


  101. Antonio Ramirez says:

    Blue Screen of Death? Need to reboot?! Grab a Microbalm :D

  102. Bob Wolf says:

    Microsoft LipBalmer®   Protects, moisturizes and conditions keyboards. Also effective as an antispam (the lunch meat) protectant and works equally well as an anti-virus protectant. Apply liberally to ports and plugs, 3x a day. WARNING: for external use only. Not to be eaten. Stop use if blue screen develops. Keep out of reach of children under 35.

  103. erfon elijah says:


  104. Anthony says:

    I thought it was a suppository.

  105. LukealiciousX says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm: “A fantastic installment to make your ‘software’ shine!”

  106. Jeremy Oestreich says:

    Caution: may cause BLOD, aka blue lips of death. 

    BLOD will freeze your lips, making them unresponsive to brain commands.  To fix, press finger firmly to the bottom of the Microsoft lip balm tube and hold for 5 seconds.  Re-apply Microsoft lip balm and your lips should return to normal functionality.  

    Also reviewed was a stick of Macintosh Apple flavored lip balm; known side effects are insane fanboism of Apple and an insatiable lust for all new Apple products.

  107. Ashleighrhyan says:

    In true PC fashion, we give you almost what you want. For the most imperceptible softness reach for “micro”soft.

  108. LukealiciousX says:

    And what’s wrong with Windows Vista?

  109. Chase Fegan says:

    Microsoft: Viruses on your computer, now on your face.

  110. Chase Fegan says:

    Microsoft:  We’ve had our way with your ass… now for the other end!

  111. RobertSantellan says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: Ultimate Edition – For the hyperactive outspoken “Ballm”er in all of us…

  112. CoreyALynch says:

    Yeah I know but it kinda works you read the Steve Jobs biography or heard of the quote?? What Microsoft said sort of a play on words :/

  113. Bobby Scruggs says:

    Microsoft lip balm: You’d probably be better off kissing a hooker because a hooker at least doesn’t have as many viruses

  114. Abiu Izquierdo says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm- After all the years of Ideas for PC and Phones, this is all we got… enjoy!

  115. Deejay Pressman says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm – We’ll stick it to YA…

  116. Srose428 says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm, our first product that works no matter how much we suck.

  117. GregsTechBlog says:

    “We’re heard your complaints! You feel like Microsoft has been f***ing you in the ass! Well, now you’ll mind it less, with our new MINI violator!” 

    Wait, Microsoft just rebranded a product? What a shocker!

  118. Antonio Ramirez says:

    Don’t waste your time rebooting, grab Microbalm to easy the pain.

  119. Yuley95 says:

    Microsoft – we can’t make your mouth water but we can keep your lips hydrated

  120. yahoo-AFZ54VZ4KTUMC5JD7OILABF5IE says:

    Where do you want to rub today?

  121. SamuelGDraper says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm : Keep your lips soft for when your kissing your new macbook.

  122. Toby says:

    Finally, something we haven’t copied from Apple…

  123. iDaBoss says:

    I doubt many people cared about the UI gloss upgrades to a 6 year old operating system. The software and driver issues, sure.

  124. Andy Mayce says:

    Microsoft Chapstick: The only Microsoft product that is simple, compact, and easy to use!

  125. Andy Mayce says:

    Microsoft Chapstick: The only Microsoft product that is simple, compact, and easy to use!

  126. DaveInOz says:

    Keeps your lips soft and moist when sputtering and cursing at Windows isn’t enough! Guaranteed to last a LONG time.

  127. iamloganw says:

    Now introducing the the mStylus, designed to reduce finger smudging!

  128. Cincotta_e says:

    Microsoft Chapstick: Tired of us kissing up to you? Kiss someone else’s ass instead!

  129. Barry Renyar says:

    Are you a fat, lifeless slob, without vision? We can stop those blue screams of death! We can give you lips like Angela Jolie! We have the greatest revolutionary product of CES – the new portable, handheld Windows 8 Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. Don’t monkey around with inferior products. Melts off the fat but guaranteed not to melt! Don’t believe us? Watch the Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ being personally beta-tested by Steve Ballmer.…. But wait – there’s more! If you order your new Windows Phone 7 in the next 3 days, we will include, ABSOLUTELY FREE, a year’s supply of Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. But wait – there’s more! For every Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ customer you sign up, we will personally pay you $10.00! 

  130. Barry Renyar says:

    Are you a fat, lifeless slob, without vision? We can stop those blue screams of death! We can give you lips like Angela Jolie! We have the greatest revolutionary product of CES – the new portable, handheld Windows 8 Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. Don’t monkey around with inferior products. Melts off the fat but guaranteed not to melt! Don’t believe us? Watch the Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ being personally beta-tested by Steve Ballmer.…. But wait – there’s more! If you order your new Windows Phone 7 in the next 3 days, we will include, ABSOLUTELY FREE, a year’s supply of Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. But wait – there’s more! For every Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ customer you sign up, we will personally pay you $10.00! 

  131. M1234C says:

    Microsoft Chapstick. Something to help you pass the time while your windows pc starts up

  132. markusgarvey says:

    so that means the Apple equivalent, would be a Douche…

  133. morgan3nelson says:

    Why Microsoft Lip Balm?  Our lips are chapped because we suck so hard.

  134. Alfred Morgan says:

    Microsoft Lip Balmer: Developers, developers, developers.

  135. Josh Wright says:

    Easy to use MS Lip balm* with 200 page manual.

    *cap & Licence sold separately.

  136. Josh Wright says:

    Apple are onto us, we better start coming up with some innovative new ideas….

  137. Roberto Wertman says:

    It won’t hurt. After years sticking it in you, Microsoft announces Windows on a stick.

  138. Juell Jolzywel Taylor says:

    Microsoft next best thing, with weekly updates and flavor issues..
    and then the iBalm will be created that tracks your lips and rejuvenates them.. it just works!

  139. DanielGemmell says:

    To make us here at Windows better at kissing your ass !!!

  140. Ed_Kel says:

    Are you frustrated at our insanely long boot times?
    Did that Nigerian prince crash your system with yet another virus?
    Are you tired of rebooting after our daily security updates, only to find another Nigerian prince entering your “back door”?
    Do you wish there was something out there that could make your Windows experience, better?

    Here, maybe this will help.
    -Microsoft Lip Balm, “distracting our dwindling fan base, since 2012”

  141. stana2z says:

    Now, true multitasking!
    Doubles as a suppository.

  142. VirtualBrown says:


  143. Lloyd Murray says:

    ms lip balm, apply when staring at blue screen of death…

  144. Chip_Mac says:

    ‘It looks like you’re trying to apply lip balm. Do you want help with?’

  145. Ted Gocal says:

    Step 1 – Remove the cap.
    Step 2 – Rotate the knob.
    Step 3 – There is no step 3 because it’s full of empty promises.

  146. Zee Gee says:

    — Pucker up!


    —    …because the Windows nerds still hope they will be kissed

  147. Raymann Kuan says:

    “Even if I kiss your ‘assle’, I will need my own branded lip balms!”

  148. Nicholas Cooke says:

    Our only product without the blue screen of death!

  149. Vegard Tveito says:

    the only way for Microsoft to be on everybody’s lips.

  150. Nicholas Elia says:

    The Microsoft tampon for all ages! Absorbs any kind of nonsense!

  151. John Lehmkuhl says:

    After a long day at work kissing ass and chasing tail, this is the only balm that works for me…

  152. Mitch McKee says:

    After years of trying to copy Apple and failing, we at Microsoft decided it might be easier to copy Burt’s Bees.

  153. Mitch McKee says:

    Tired of Microsoft fans claiming that you’re an Apple Fanboy? Now you can show them just how un-biased you are with Microsoft Lip Balm! The one MS product you’ll be glad you had with you.

  154. Bjorn Foli Okine says:

    Apply while booting up

  155. Lawrence A. Husick says:

    Is your ass chapped from your obsolete Zune (you know, the iPod killer?!?)  Then apply liberally where the sun don’t shine.

  156. Calactus says:

    No swag bag for you. Next!

  157. Calactus says:

    Whoa, Mr. Ballmer… is that a lipbalm in your pocket, or….?

  158. Honey6 says:

    MicroSoft Lipbalm : Feel the lips like rose petals


    Copyrights reserved. No one should ever use this when you are in front of MAC devices or iOS devices. One Lipbalm per License. By using this Lipbalm , you are agreeing to the terms of this will not have the right to inspect e any ingredients for any reason. Humiliation of rules may be prosecuted.

  159. ericschultheiss says:

    If your fingers are chapped from all the “Control, Alt, Delete” you’re doing, then use this chapstick from Microsoft and save your digits for calling tech support.

  160. Parth Gandhi says:

    Do you need to download a service pack to take the cap off?

  161. Srome95 says:

    “Now catching a virus is even easier, choose Microsoft!”

  162. Josh Ward says:

    I said “Simplify my lip balm.” They simplified my lip balm. How you like me now?

  163. Michel Vega says:

    “Our software sucks ass, but now it won’t smell funny”.

  164. Phillip says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm – “When you suck at everything, like we do, you’re gonna need this”

  165. Michel Vega says:

    “I kissed a Bill and I liked it, the taste of her Microsoft chapstick

    I kissed a Bill just to try it, I hope Macintosh don’t mind it
    It felt so wrong…”

  166. Clyde Nd Sheng says:

    “darn its so cold in here, my windows 7 froze…i’d better use my Microsoft chapstick to avoid freezing my a** in here”

  167. Tim Osse says:

    More like Microsoft’s best product of all time. Honestly microsoft you have yet to produce anything that is not total crap, just die already. 

  168. lethalillness says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm – “For when our boring, unimaginative keynotes don’t have you salivating at the mouth!”

  169. Arvind Gopwani says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm – “wirelessly sync your viruses across all personal networks.”

  170. M1234C says:

    Microsoft lip balm. A brand new device with an inbuilt restart button for those daily crashes, that we all love.

  171. 5AMTech says:

    But only Steve Jobs can say “And one last thing…”.

  172. 5AMTech says:

    Because Bill Gates has really chapped lips.

  173. 5AMTech says:

    Because Bill Gates couldn’t stand Burt’s Bees.

  174. 5AMTech says:

    Your emergency virus kit.

  175. Christopher Turcotte says:

    We can’t fix the cracks in our software, but we can on your lips!

  176. Christopher Turcotte says:


  177. Robert Fursey says:

    We may be first, but apple’s will be better… that’s the Microsoft guarantee. 

    UP NEXT: New IBalm with 3 exciting new features: Built in wifi, MP3 capabilities, and Siri to help with the weather update. Yours now for only $99.99

  178. Fred Maxwell says:

    Humor’s not your thing.  Give it a rest.

  179. Mark Pollard says:

    When you host a Windows 8 launch party for you and your friends, you want to look your best so use Microsoft Lip Balm.

  180. wilburg says:

    Microsoft “Butt Balm” – Tired of Windows? – Preparation H Simply Doesn’t cut it!

  181. Charles DeVore says:

    Sealing the cracks so the code does not leak out…..

  182. Jim Hovercraft says:

    Did we mention it also comes in brown?

  183. Studio246 says:

    …because they were easier to give away than Zunes…

  184. Toby says:

    It’s obvious they came up with this themselves…

  185. Redwyvern says:

    Feeling 2nd best lately? Apply liberally, and pucker up for that serious Butt-Kissing session!
    Also works great on Brown-Nose chafing!

  186. Louie Schuth says:

    It doesn’t matter if you’re lips are micro or not, Microsoft Lip Balm will make your lips SOFT!

  187. ednorton545 says:

    Your PC can’t get Herpes, so why should you?

  188. BryantWms says:

    After holding your mouth open and licking your lips at all of the awesome new product,  Microsoft has the best solution…”Microsoft Lipbalm”

  189. Scott Adams says:

    Apply Microsoft Lipbalm frequently to shore up your lips defenses.

  190. Barry Rich says:

    When Your PC Leaves You Feeling Raw And Irritated, Try Microsoft Lipbalm! 

  191. Phil says:

    Microsoft’s aggressive new push to gain back market share in the mobile market:
    Buy Microsoft Lipbalm, get a Windows 7 Phone for free.”

  192. Joel Tague says:

    60% of the time, it works every time, just like our products.

  193. Russell Johnson says:

    Micro Soft-Lips!  We gotta make money some how.

  194. Camerongerardy says:

    anti-update balm:

    insert to the computer and then update

  195. Apollo Sulse says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm: with artificial Apple flavors

  196. Vihang Godbole says:

    The new Microsoft LipBalm. We won’t ever leave a bad taste in your mouth.

  197. Don Cossey says:

    Backward compatible all the way to licking your lips. 

  198. dennis dumdumaya says:

    Microsoft Flavorless Lipbalm: Like our other products, it lacks taste.

  199. Nikhil Pradhan says:

    Microsoft lipbalm for 50 cents. Because you don’t want to pay $10 for a sleeker looking lipbalm.

  200. Toby says:

    Going boldly where microsoft has never gone before; A product people might actually want

  201. miguelluigi says:

    The new Microsoft Lip Balm- also doubles as a stylus for our future Windows 8 Tablets.

  202. miguelluigi says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm- you didn’t think our CEO’s name was BALMer for no reason, did you?

  203. MichaelMuc says:

    Microsoft® LipBalm® 2012

    Yes, we just registered another common word and will sue everyone using it without permission from now on

  204. Jacojac says:

    Our way to say sorry for vista

  205. lakeshow44 says:

    The only “balmer” at Microsoft that is not useless

  206. Dennis Weis says:

    Bend over and kiss my @#$ Wait, put on some lip balm first.

  207. Anthony Pisapia says:

    Still chapped about Microsoft Vista?  We’ve got just the thing for that…

  208. Sudhendra Sudhi says:

    Microsoft Balm – Makes your smile error free …..

  209. benjaminamyers says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm! At least you won’t have to reboot this.

  210. benjaminamyers says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm! Because @$$ balm from the constant chapping we cause just didn’t seem appropriate.

  211. Benjamin Aaron Myers says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm! Just something else we stole and put our label on.

  212. Scott Paciorek says:

    Buy the MS Lip Balm for $199. to actually use it requires an upgrade to pro for $499.

  213. Nicholas Byble says:

    Try the all new Microsoft Lip Balm! The only thing cheaper than Microsoft’s market share.

  214. Cesar Florez says:

    Chapstick Lip Balm – $1.59 / Blistex Lip Medex – $1.99 / Burtsbees Beeswax Lip Balm – $2.59 / Microsoft Lip Balm – Priceless

  215. Paul Vasquez says:

    It should have been hand sanitizer. That way you could wash your hands of the whole Microsoft experience.

  216. Claude Caron says:

    Getting ready to kiss Ballmer`s ass!!

  217. Claude Caron says:

    Microsoft LipBalm – Garanteed to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

  218. matty says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm… we maynot be able to protect your precious pictures, music library, or important documents, but at least we can protect your lips**!

    **= Only 23 day trial included, Full version can be purchased for continued protection…. until next year!

  219. Odd Knee says:

    Microsoft Lipbalmer-for those times when you suck too much!

  220. Shaun Green says:

    Lipsmackin’ processorhoggin’ virusfriendin’, systemcrashin’, applecopyin’ pricefixin’ Microsoft

  221. Shaun Green says:

    Lipsmackin’ processorhoggin’ virusfriendin’, systemcrashin’, applecopyin’ pricefixin’ Microsoft

  222. Matt Harris says:

    Microsoft Lipbalm, “Defragments lips in 9 hours”

  223. chimpthedestroyer says:

    also available as a suppository

  224. Octvrium says:

    give it to me, it’s one of the only possible ways that i’m gonna use a PC product over a Mac :P unless you can find a Apple lipbalm :D

  225. SolarSaves says:

    Microsoft LipBalm, for when you want that “blue lips of death” goth look.

  226. Eric Matthews says:


  227. Jonathan Share says:

    Sucking. Powered by Microsoft

  228. SolarSaves says:

    It’s a lip balm, it’s an hemorrhoidal balm!
    It’s Microsoft 8, dual boot Ballmer, with a special multi-touch lip GUI, for when you want to sooth your boss’s butt as you kiss it.
    Also available in tablet form, as well as fully functioning PC suppository!

  229. Aditya Teja Niduram says:

     “Microsoft-Metro-MSN-XBox-Live-Zune-Windows-Mango-Bing-Lipbalm” – For those lip biting moments when you see our “Blue screen of Death” 

  230. AlterThending says:

    I’m sorry you’ll have to find an updated driver to use this chapstick. 

  231. Sudhendra Sudhi says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: Now it is We Who THINK DIFFERENT

  232. Gerald Torregosa says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm. It just works.

  233. emisepo says:

    The microsoft next big thing!! The LipBalmer! 7-mango-vista-xp-else-yada it’s now with 1.99 it’s home edition so in 2 months we will bring the ultimate edition with a 3,99 … The first month..

  234. Cesar Florez says:

    repost: edited:Chapstick Lip Balm – $1.59 / Blistex Lip Medex – $1.99 / Burtsbees Beeswax Lip Balm – $2.59 / Microsoft Lip Balm – WORTHLESS!

  235. Jeff Williamson says:

    Microsoft introduces “a revolution in skin technology” at CES2012.  As customary with any Microsoft product, the reverse side of the label reads: “Note: may cause user’s lips to freeze up, move slowly and/or inexpicably and without warning cause blue lips of death.” 

  236. GetMore says:

    Introducing “Microstick” lip balm by Microsoft. For soothing relief from what ails you, we promise, really. It just works.

  237. lakeshow44 says:

    Microsoft is awarded CES 2012 “Lipstick on a Pig” trophy (pictured) after conventioneers realize the shiny, new-look products … Are still made by Microsoft.

  238. Patrick Mahoney says:

    Microsofts answer to Apples iPad: Microsoft Balm Pilot

  239. Thomas Smith says:

    Microsoft Chapstick. Greasing Up the Little Guy.

  240. Mark Kyprianou says:

    Never needs rebooting

  241. M1234C says:

    The greatest invention since the personal computer

  242. Sumit Jaisingh says:

    for everything you do windows comes up with a blue screen stating “starting memory dump bla bla bla”

  243. Cedric Hebert says:

    Microsoft Lip Balm: only way to spread word of mouth!

  244. kayleen50 says:

    Put some on your lips before you kiss Apples ass!

  245. Nicholas Byble says:

    So who won?

  246. ianabush says:

    Microsoft chap stick! Why? Because we know your lips get chapped from all that whistling at cool Apple stuff.

  247. Phil says:

    So… there was never any CES bag filled with goodies huh? Or, you guys decided to keep it all for your selves -_-

  248. Buster says:

    working on deciding a winner right now

  249. Buster says:

    please email buster (at) cultofmac (dot) com to claim your prize

  250. chrisbgordon says:

    …Toby in purchasing suddenly realized that the 5000 copies of the Windows 8 demo for CES were probably supposed to be on on a USB stick.

  251. Chris says:

    Cool!!!  Another Microsoft original idea!  You think Microsoft fans will claim that Microsoft pioneered lip balm too?     

  252. Logan says:

    Pucker Up and kiss your money goodbye with: Microsoft Brand Chapstick!

  253. 950platinum says:

    Even fixes cracked windows.

  254. James Oliver says:

    Lubrication for the microshaft

  255. VotersRights says:

    That’s not a caption.

  256. David Boyer says:

    Loose lips sink ships…. Microsoft Lip Glue, now our employees can only write or charade a leak.

  257. Clark Wallace says:

    So the winner is a guy (Fred) that entered almost 12 times? Awesome.

    I should of entered over 9000 times.

  258. NearOffice says:

    Microsoft Lip-Balmer is designed to keep lips sealed.

  259. windsors says:

    Introducing BALLMER™ by Microsoft. The only lip treatment proven to withstand 35 years of sucking.

    (I know, too late; it just now came to me.)

  260. Justin Alexander says:

    Microsoft Lip balm: Made to cool your lips after you spending hours biting them while trying to use Windows.

  261. Terry L Smelker says:

    When you absolutely, positively can’t keep your mouth shut trash-talking Apple’s products- because they’re better than yours.

  262. kyle_gibson says:

    Still more useful than a mac.

  263. So sick of it says:

    The tiny vibrator disguised as lip balm for those nights when your man is Micro and Soft.

  264. arCyn1c says:

    They might crack your password, but they won’t crack your lips.

  265. Azlan Ayy says:

    Are you sure you don’t want the chapstick? It may make bing search ease…ier.

  266. Azlan Ayy says:

    Are you sure you don’t want the chapstick? It may make the BING search ease…ier.

  267. herms1951 says:

    You’ve dreamed about it, watched HGTV, and and pick out colors. Now make your bathroom remodel a reality, more info, bathroomremodeling.cöm

  268. herms1951 says:

    You’ve dreamed about it, watched HGTV, and and pick out colors. Now make your bathroom remodel a reality, more info, bathroomremodeling.cöm

  269. Robin C says:

    Steve Jobs : Watching all this from iHeaven..

    Laughing softly : asks God 

    “Can you please do some magic and stop MS from inventing so much BS ?” 

    P.S – we will not be reinventing this. :-/ 

  270. marcwitteveen says:

    Copy this Apple!

  271. Bruce Miller says:

    Virus magnet.

  272. FriarNurgle says:

    MS chapstick; each one is personally tested by Steve Ballmer himself. 

  273. Bart?omiej ?api?ski says:

    I got one: “Even this is better than all Apple products” :P

  274. Samuel S. Ahn says:

    Microsoft Booth Raffle – 
    4th prize – Microsoft Zune
    3rd prize – Autographed Copy of Windows Me
    2nd Prize – Autographed Copy of Windows XP
    1st Prize – Microsoft Licensed Lip Balm*
    *The EULA states that you don’t actually own the lip balm, just the permission to use it. If you share the lip balm, you will be hit with a $100,000 fine in violation of DMCA.

  275. Anton Moritz says:

    “The kiss preparing tool for the true Windows user”

  276. Singh Amardeep says:

    It’s time to taste Microsoft Chapstick.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *