All items tagged with "onion"

Hang It Up, Apple! Samsung’s Got You By The Balls! [Humor]

Screen Shot 2013-07-03 at 12.45.55 PM

“In today’s world, there’s no reason not to be constantly simulated,” says Samsung. “With Apex, you can be constantly watching movies, browsing Facebook, and receiving head from a robotic mouth, all at the same time.”

An absolutely priceless Onion News Network video, with perhaps the best headline of all time: “New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick.” Check out the video after the jump.

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Apple Promises To Fix iOS 6 Maps For Christmas By Physically Altering Planet Earth [Humor]

Props to the indefatigable Onion News Network for breaking this important story: Apple is promising an update by Christmas that will fix iOS 6 Maps’ unreliable mapping results by physically altering the shape and geography of the Earth’s crust. That’s a solution that Steve “you’re holding it wrong” Jobs could be proud of.