If there seems to be one universal law of commerce, it is this: If you purchase an iPhone from a strange man in the back of a Burger King parking lot who you initially contacted through Craigslist, it is a fact that there will be anything except an iPhone in the box he sells you.
This is a law of commerce more nitwits should probably internalize, since yet another poor sucker has fallen for this classic ploy, with one important difference: It was a McDonald’s! Dum dum DUM!
iPhone theft has become a huge issue in big city like New York City. In fact, Mayor Bloomberg says the iPhone was responsible for New York City’s first increase in crime in 20 years.
New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman is supposedly pretty tired of his constituents getting their iPhones stolen from them, so he’s written a public letter to Tim Cook asking why Apple isn’t doing more to stop iPhone theft.
On a vacation with his wife and kids recently, Paul Deas opened his suitcase and found a rude surprise: his MacBook had been stolen. Not only that, but the thief had helpfully left him a note inside, telling him exactly who had robbed him: TSA Agent 5414.
Late last year, Cult of Mac reported that New York City’s crime rate had increased for the first time in twenty years, not due to the resurgence of criminal gangs like the Warriors and the Baseball Furies, but because the iPhone was just such a popular thing to steal.
Why are criminals so interested in ripping off iPhones, though, and not, say, Samsung Galaxy S III’s? What it all comes down to is two things. One, the predictability of the resale market: you can predict what you can pawn an iPhone for, but other gadgets are harder. Two: an iPhone or iPad is easy to identify at a glance, where as other lucrative gadgets are harder to spot.
Any chemical that can dissuade a bear from using your ribs like emory boards is potent stuff, which is why this story of an Apple Store robbery up in Vancouver is so horrifying: three perps busted up a Genius Bar and started indiscriminately spraying people with bear mace.
Don’t ever say that the people who work in the Apple Store aren’t actually geniuses. Apple Store employees in the Altamonte Mall in Seminole County, Florida managed to sleuth out a couple of identity thieves who were trying to buy iPhones with stolen IDs.
How’d these Sherlocks do it? They were tipped off by several subtle clues on the IDs themselves, including the fact that they were not made of the correct material, and featured a comical number of misspellings that could only be worse if they wrote down the name of the state as “Flrodia.”
You should never steal an iPhone while wearing pink shoes. It doesn’t sound like a piece of vital information, but in the hard streets of Brooklyn’s Prospect Park it is, because those pink little things are going to get you caught.
One thief learned that lesson the hard way, after he stole an iPhone from a girl, and then the iPhone he stole was stolen, and then both of them got busted. It’s a crazy story, but it goes something like this:
Although New York has traditionally been viewed as crime-ridden since the seediest days of the 1970s, the crime rate has actually been sinking for the last twenty years. No longer, however, and it looks like the desirability of Apple products are indirectly to blame.