Dear Rovio, don’t make this Angry Birds movie

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Angry Birds movie taking flight

Can Rovio dodge the curse of the video game movie when it brings Angry Birds to the big screen?

Tekken

Take all the butt-kicking action of the King of Iron Fist Tournament,add Jon Foo, and what could go wrong? Well, just about any animated character is a better actor than Foo. And the draw for the game — with combat action in the round — is kind of a given, you know, in an actual film.

Street Fighter

Jean-Claude Van Damme stars in this adaptation-lite of the relentlessly brutal game. The film includes a few comic interludes to really horrify anyone watching it.

Resident Evil

Confession: There was many a cheap thrill to be had with the epicPlayStation game upon which this film was based. Hooked up to a halfway decent stereo, the haunted-house aspect with the tense music and fright factor got me. Every.Single. Time. The movie? Less of a jolt and more one long, boring buzz.The franchise holds the record for most film adaptations -- evidentlythey’re still trying to get it right.

DOA: Dead or Alive

Another multi-fighter mega-flop, this one offers equal opportunity for bad moviemaking. It stars Holly Valance, Devon Aoki and Sarah Carter as gals out to win a martial arts contest.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Even Angelina Jolie, whose eye-popping curves perfectly embody everyone’s favorite archaeologist/adventuress, couldn’t save this. And neither could Daniel Craig. The movie made a vast, glittering pile of cash, so they made another one that was panned even more harshly than the original.

Mortal Kombat

The draw of the game was partially due to using real actors as opposed to drawings -- that's why there's a huge cult of them.

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Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Usually you don’t think of games as having great plots (like porn?) butthe later iterations of Prince of Persia actually did. Epic journeys, curses, trials toovercome, etc. -- Joseph Campbell probably would have approved. Shameabout the movie. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as the prince and Ben Kingsley asthe baddie. It made a ton of money but also made your life pointlesslyshorter by 116 minutes.

Super Mario Bros.

I’ll have a super-size dose of whatever the guys who green-lighted anentire movie based on the adventures of two Italian-American plumbers inBrooklyn had. Sure, there are floods and romance and dinosaur bones andvillains to be fought. But the movie was a super bob-omb, even though the best costumeaward it won means we’ll be seeing variations on the amiable BobHoskins' Mario outfit for many Halloweens to come.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

This is one of those straight-outta-Japan offerings that you either getor don’t. I never got it. The game or the movie. The animated film abouta dystopian future besieged by aliens won plaudits for its amazinganimation, fruit of a team of 200 and four years of effort. But the movie tanked,bringing Square Pictures down with it.

Max Payne

Director John Moore brought the story of cold-case detective Max Payne on amission to life in this “neo-noir action” flick. It’s only loosely based onthe game, and Mark Wahlberg fits the lead role about as well as a pairof too-old Calvin boxers with crenelated elastic.

Angry Birds is coming to a big screen near you. Rovio Entertainment is taking the epic battle of birds-versus-pigs from your iPhone to the cinema, in 3-D, and launching it into the wide, wide world in July 2016.

We’re aflutter with anticipation: Can they actually make a movie based on a video game worth watching? It’s happened time and time again that our favorite living room brain-cell killer was transported to the land of plush seats and buttery popcorn only to disappoint.

Most video games turn into celluloid duds even though we stupidly paid to see them; Rotten Tomatoes gives Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within only a 44 percent approval rating. The rest go down from there.

In the gallery above, you’ll find a brutal rundown of the best of the worst video game-cum-movies that Rovio should watch — as a reminder of what not to do.

Word Monsters Is New Head-To-Head Word Puzzler From Angry Birds Developers [Video Review]

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The hit bird slinging game Angry Birds has found its way on devices everywhere. While the Angry Birds series has brought developing company Rovio so much popularity, their branch company Rovio Stars aims to share the spotlight. The newest application from Rovio Stars is Word Monsters, a game that combines competitive head-to-head gameplay with word puzzles and monsters. Do you think you can beat all your friends and top the high score charts?

Take a look at the video and find out what you think.

This is a Cult of Mac video review of the iOS application Word Monsters – Rovio Stars Ltd., brought to you by Joshua Smith of TechBytes W/ Jsmith.

Yep, Angry Birds Go Sure Is A Kart Game [Review]

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The inevitable fate of all popular mascots to eventually end up in a go kart. Take a look at Mario, Crash Bandicoot, Sonic, and many other iconic video game mascot characters and you’ll find they’ve all squished themselves into a car at some point. Well, now the Angry Birds are, too.

Angry Birds Go by Rovio
Category: iOS Games
Works With: iPhone, iPad
Price: Free

Angry Birds Go is a free-to-play karting adventure full of repetition and cool-down meters. Unlocking aesthetically pleasing carts means putting in real money, and your spirited birdy racers get tired after a short while. Beyond that, Go is a completely average racer.

Angry Birds Gets Electrifying New Update, Now Has Almost 500 Levels

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Few companies are better at keeping their games updated than Rovio, who’ve released more updates for its Angry Birds games than one can count. Add another grain of sand to the beaches of infinity, then, because the bird-vs.-pig physics strategy game has just gotten a new update, adding 30 levels to the core game as well as giving the bomb bird a new electric power.