With Gesture Alarm Clock, you set wakeup alerts by drawing numbers on the screen. It has a sleep timer that plays a variety of soothing music and sounds to lull you off. Plus, it has three different vibration strengths, several gesture-based snoozes, and if you think you’d wake up easier if your iPhone’s flashlight turned on, it’ll do that for you, too.
It will also automatically wake you up earlier if it detects traffic delays, and it displays the current weather.
But it won’t cook my breakfast, so I can’t really recommend it.
Here’s a fitness app with an interesting extra feature.
BetterFit lets you keep track of when and how you exercise. You can design custom routines from a giant list of activities or make your own. But it also includes a second tracker that lets you measure how much protein you consume during the day. It has a list of preset food items, or you can input it manually and set daily goals to make sure that you’re feeding your muscles properly.
So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go stock up on lentils because they’re as delicious and full of protein as they are fun to say.
Wingsuit Cute is a game about a bunch of adorable animals forced to glide through the air and collect snacks while under the constant threat of smashing their widdle snoots on rocks and trees.
Wingsuit Cute by Iron Foot Studios Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch Price: $1.99
It really downplays the animals graphically smashing their faces open, but that’s basically what’s happening. The game takes a sunnier approach, choosing to focus on the part where tiny mammals don wingsuits in search of thrills and noms. And it’s really cute. And kinda fun, with a fair amount of challenge to keep perfect-run seekers coming back.
Once again, I’m here to tell you about a little minimalist game that has completely kicked my ass.
Lumena by Elevate Entertainment Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch Price: $1.99 (promotional price, reg. $2.99)
It’s called Lumena, and it doesn’t look like much until you play it and fail in like two seconds. And then you try again, and again you fail because the game is, in fact, so minimal that it doesn’t even bother to tell you how to play it. But after a while, you figure it out (it’s not really that complicated), and with newly found confidence, you give it another shot. And you lose in five seconds.
But stick with it because it’s way better than I’m making it sound.
Anyone — even a fat plumber — can run around and jump on things. But what if progress depends on being in two places simultaneously? Or three? Or five? Mario can’t even handle that. Unless we’re talking about the Mario vs. Donkey Kong games with all the mini-Marios.
Instantion by Finjitzu Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch Price: $1.99
Which we’re not.
Anyway, the hero of Instantion can be all those places. Let’s focus on that. Because it’s a fun game.
Hundreds of new games come out every week in the App Store. A select few are the next must-play title that everyone will be talking about (and ripping off) for the foreseeable future. Most of them are perfectly decent but may not receive the attention they deserve. And then you have the third group: games so odd, bizarre, and head-scratching that you’re not sure what to make of or do with them.
They aren’t necessarily bad; they’re just confusing and weird. And worst of all, people may never know that they exist. But that’s why we’re here.
Here are some of the strangest games to drop into the App Store this week. What you do with this information is between you and your iPhone.
If you like Threes but wish it was less numbery and more Tetris-like, SideSwype might be for you.
SideSwype by Radiangames Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad Price: $1.99
It’s a puzzler in which you, you know, swipe. To the side. And when you do that, you move every block on the board as far as it can go in that direction. So you might want to plan ahead a little.
Your goal is to line up three or more blocks of the same color to clear them, and it throws in some complications and special pieces too because otherwise it would be boring. But luckily, it has those things, and it is not boring.
15 Coins is hard. Alright, that was the shortest review I’ve ever written. I’ll be back Monday.
15 Coins by Engaging Games Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad Price: $0.99 (promotional price; reg. $1.99)
Apparently, my editor refuses to pay me for three sentences, so I guess I’ll elaborate.
15 Coins is an arcade avoidance game where you’re trying to collect the eponymous pick-ups before you run into a past version of yourself and explode. Probably because of a paradox or whatever happened to Ron Silver at the end of Timecop. Actually, I think the game calls your pursuers “drones,” but they look like you and follow the same path you did, so I’m just going to go ahead and call time travel on this one. The point is that it’s difficult.
Sometimes You Die by Philipp Stollenmayer Category: iOS Games Works With: iPhone, iPad Price: $1.99
You would tell yourself, “I am reading a review for Sometimes You Die.” You take it for granted that I am going somewhere with this. My opinion is just a shadow. A number.
Alright, I can’t keep that up, but before you leap into the Internet and punch me in the face, know two things: First, that was a taste of the narration for the oddball minimalist platformer Sometimes You Die. And second, I’m still recovering from my last face punch, so don’t be a jerk.
As for the game, it’s brilliant. You don’t even need to read the rest of this. Just go buy it and get it in your brain-hole.