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Microsoft Songsmith Ad Is Today’s Best Thing Ever

1:26 am, January 9th, 2009, Giles Turnbull

Shake with fear, GarageBand developers! Cower before us on your knees, Steve Jobs! Bow down and acknowledge how cool we are, Phil Schiller!

For we are Microsoft, and we make Songsmith, and now NOTHING CAN STOP US.

(What you DIDN’T know is that the above video is NOT an advert for Songsmith, but in fact a cleverly disguised ad for another new Microsoft product called Adsmith. With Adsmith, you think up the coolest, most amazing idea for an advert, for any kind of product, and Adsmith automatically generates a high definition video, using just your thoughts as a starting point! That’s right, you don’t even have to sing or talk to it, it just READS YOUR MIND.)

((What you DIDN’T DIDN’T know is that Apple spies have been operating within the Microsoft marketing team for some years now. Their job is not so much espionage but sabotage – they are not there to discover Microsoft’s secrets (Steve Jobs isn’t really interested in them), but to ensure that as many Microsoft adverts as possible contain video footage of a MacBook Pro.))

Posted by Giles Turnbull in Hardware, Humor, Music, News | Comment on this article

About the author

gilest

Giles Turnbull is a freelance writer in England. He is a columnist for PA, and has written for the BBC, Guardian, Daily Telegraph, MacUser, Macworld, and The Morning News. He has a blog you can ignore and a Twitter account you needn't follow.

Email the author | Read more posts by Giles Turnbull.

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27 comments

    So is the girl’s singing meant to sound so bad?

    Sooty, on January 9th, 2009 at 2:08 am

    Ah, but maybe Microsoft is finally getting smart and, knowing that Macs run windows too, they’re trying to eat into Garageband’s market. But Garageband is free with iLife…hmm. Oh well, nice try Microsoft.
    Still, if it only comes out with songs like in the ad all the users will have killed themselves anyway, or the people around them would have.

    Marc M, on January 9th, 2009 at 2:17 am

    Good Lord! Microsoft just did it! I’ve achieved the greatest ROFL heights today thanks to them.

    Javier Canadillas, on January 9th, 2009 at 2:40 am

    That was horrible. I don’t know who to feel sorry for more, the little girl for being exposed to these clowns so early in her life, or the MacBook for being covered in all of the decals.

    Unsatisfied LG DACOM Victim, on January 9th, 2009 at 3:54 am

    The girl in the beginning is 100% using a MacbookPro. Way to go Microsoft, there’s that attention to detail.

    Ryan, on January 9th, 2009 at 4:47 am

    Uh. Umm. No. Make it stop. No, wait – that’s not enough. PLEASE make it stop. No – hang on… Ears bleeding? Nooo… Brain melting? Hmm… Closer.

    I know I just got dummerer. I think.

    Wow.

    CaveDog, on January 9th, 2009 at 5:33 am

    It’s me or the first laptop is a Macbook Pro ? :D

    Gl0ubI, on January 9th, 2009 at 5:34 am

    they show the mac just because it runs better on a mac is it??
    and by the way Apple don’t need to shake seeing this…
    Just wait the firs quarter of the year and we will rock you!!

    and to be honest this tool looks like a toy for kids

    I am sure you don’t use a mac is it??
    we have no rivals….

    massimo, on January 9th, 2009 at 5:45 am

    Let’s ask Microsoft! Here’s the link to the thread asking about the Macbook pro.

    Maybe the little girl has a great voice AND is a master of Bootcamp or VMWare or Parallels!

    http://community.research.microsoft.com/forums/p/2519/3874.aspx#3874

    CashGap, on January 9th, 2009 at 6:10 am

    I cannot for the life of me figure out whether or not this entire thing is a hoax or not…I mean c’mon, “Songsmith?!?”

    r2, on January 9th, 2009 at 6:34 am

    Ok, this is killing me. Is that seriously a Macbook with the apple logo photoshopped off?

    James, on January 9th, 2009 at 7:33 am

    Has anyone really ever thought that MicroSoft makes easy-to-use products? Shwew, I hope the whole thing is a joke to be honest. I mean, who wants to create music by manipulating a set of drop down menus and levels with titles such as “Happy” or “Jazz” ?

    C Rolls, on January 9th, 2009 at 7:39 am

    Wait a minute. Are you guys saying hat this an ACTUAL Microsoft ad for Songsmith?!? Seriously?!?!

    Ok, i just clicked on the link.

    Oh. My. God.

    Holy. Crap.

    What. The. F#%k.

    MacSheikh, on January 9th, 2009 at 7:49 am

    Okay, that was painful, and I didn’t even have the sound on.

    Phreak, on January 9th, 2009 at 9:49 am

    That is why perfect-pitched people suffer

    wikinerd, on January 9th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    This finally nailed it. I hate musicals!

    Viktor, on January 9th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    It’s official:

    http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/redmond/projects/songsmith/

    mkd, on January 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    I feel gay for watching that all the way through.

    So, even if you are tone deaf, Songsmith will match your tonal deficiency and prepare an incredibly shitty song that will make your ears bleed.

    I feel like I need to take a brillo pad and steel brush to myself in the shower after being violated like this.

    Thanks Songsmith!

    Jim, on January 9th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    Hahahaha, Microsoft they are definitely getting bullied by apple . lol, and that was a long, boring add !!

    Fred E, on January 10th, 2009 at 7:28 am

    This pathetic bit gives “nerd” a whole new meaning. Microsoft is losing it.

    rplat, on January 12th, 2009 at 5:24 am

    What’s with the link between songsmith and garageband? They’re two completely different products. It’s like comparing oranges to apples (LOL!)

    Mick, on January 12th, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    So the target audience is gay Indians? Well, who am I to judge… =)

    Tr0ll, on January 13th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Did Microsoft go back in time and use their marketing dept from the 80s on that one?

    Aussiem8, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:18 am

    why are they using a Mac book pro to advertise a Microsoft product?

    brad, on January 14th, 2009 at 8:31 am

    What they use is Apple’s genius marketing strategy. How many million more people have watched the ad since it got public that they use a Mac? Free advertisement ALL over the world cause every single news page talks about it! Damn smart of MS, I’d say!!!

    marketing, on January 16th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    do you think they’ve made such a shitty ad to get people talking? It can’t be real. Oh- and i don’t think they’ve photoshopped the apple logo on the macbook pro at the beginning, just stuck a sticker over it. I know the software’s real but is it like that cadburys ad, get people talking, create a buzz. these questions must be answered. Where’s bill gates when you need him?

    richard Selwyn, on January 27th, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    You nerds fail. You dont understand marketing at all. Thats why u end up with crappy macbooks.

    4chan, on March 27th, 2009 at 6:01 pm