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Everything I wanted to know about gold Apple Watches, I learned on reddit

Ladies and gentlemen, the 18-karat gold Appel Watch Edition, which is an aspiration, price-anchor, according to Reddit. Credit: Apple

Ladies and gentlemen, the 18-karat gold Apple Watch Edition, which is an aspirational price anchor, according to reddit’s users. Credit: Apple

We all know that professional industry analysts often say the darndest things, but the Apple Watch has unleashed some truly muddleheaded commentary, especially from people who get paid to know better.

There are the customary and entirely predictable predictions that the Watch will fail — just as the pundits predicted the iMac, iPod, iPhone and iPad would bomb. This kind of commentary is so knee-jerk and silly, it’s best to just ignore. But then there’s a higher tier of analysis that says the Watch’s success depends on apps (duh, yeah) or the device’s potential for upgrades (completely wrong).

I’m interested in smarter takes on Apple’s strategy, pricing and marketing. Surprisingly, some of the most insightful commentary I’ve seen is on reddit — known generally as a salty hangout for spotty teens and weirdos. Here are some key points outlined by reddit users.

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Video: See Tim Cook’s super-awesome, incredibly amazing string of superlatives!

Tim Cook really, really loves the latest Apple products. Photo: Apple

Tim Cook really, really loves the latest Apple products. Photo: Apple

The Apple Watch? It’s incredible.

The new MacBook? It’s unbelievable.

Apple’s team? Amazing!

Tim Cook is either the world’s most positive CEO or he possesses the world’s greatest poker face. Just watch the string of superlatives he unleashed during Apple’s “Spring Forward” event Monday, as rounded up in Cult of Mac’s supercut video below.

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Why the $17,000 gold Apple Watch might actually be too cheap

Despite its hefty price tag, Apple Watch Edition might actually be too inexpensive. Photo: Apple

Despite its hefty price tag, the 18-karat gold Apple Watch Edition might actually be too cheap. Photo: Apple

The tech world is completely aghast at the price of the gold Apple Watch Edition, which starts at $10,000 but is more likely to set buyers back $17,000 (plus tax!).

The pricing is baking everyone’s noodles. We can’t wrap our heads around a super-expensive watch that will soon be obsolete and is functionally identical to a $350 model. This is not how tech works.

But that’s the point. I wrote how the high-end Apple Watch winds me up — I argued that its very existence is antithetical to Apple’s democratic values. But after further research, it’s obvious that Apple knows exactly what it’s doing, and it’s very smart — even if I still don’t like the gold watch’s enormous price tag.

The Apple Watch Edition is a classic Veblen product. The outrageous price is the whole point. And the higher it gets, the more of them Apple will sell. It might even be priced too low.

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The new MacBook isn’t for you, it’s for the future 

The new MacBook probably isn't for you. Photo: Apple

The new MacBook probably isn’t for you. Photo: Apple

The new MacBook is one of the most impressive pieces of technology Apple has unleashed in five years. It boasts a Retina display, USB-C, butterfly-hinged keyboard, Force Touch trackpad and terraced batteries. All crammed inside a body that’s smaller than the MacBook Air, made possible by a new fanless processor.

Despite being an unapologetically gorgeous piece of hardware, the new MacBook’s biggest weapon — the fanless processor — is also its greatest weakness.

Apple has placed the new MacBook in a category most people shouldn’t even consider buying, and that’s OK. The new MacBook isn’t for you and me, it’s for the future.

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Why the $10,000 gold Apple Watch really winds me up

"You like me, you really like me!" Photo: Leander Kahney/Cult of Mac

The super-expensive gold Apple Watch Edition is enough to get your knickers in a twist. Photo: Leander Kahney/Cult of Mac

When Steve jobs co-founded Apple, his vision was to democratize technology.

At the time, computers were for governments and rich corporations. Jobs wanted everyone to have their own computer — a crazy idea back in the ’70s. The slogan for the original Macintosh was “the computer for the rest of us.”

For the next 30 years, Jobs worked hard to realize that mission. Although Apple has never made the cheapest computers, in general, the trend has been cheaper and more accessible, from the Mac to the iPhone. For most people, Apple’s products are largely affordable.

This is why the gold Apple Watch Edition — which starts at $10,000 — bugs me. It’s not a watch for the rest of us. It’s a watch for everyone but us. It’s a watch for the one percent.

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Everything we do (and still don’t) know about Apple Watch

Photo: Apple

Photo: Apple

Apple blew us away today with its HBO Now partnership, sexy new MacBook, and ResearchKit. But the star of the show was Apple Watch, which has the potential to be either a game changer or massive flop.

For those who don’t remember, this was the second time Apple execs have taken the stage to talk Apple Watch. We got an initial preview of the Watch back in September, and today’s event was more for filling in the knowledge gaps.

While we already knew the Watch’s main selling points and the kinds of apps it would run, there was still some crucial information that needed answering. Luckily Apple did address the most important questions, but it also left certain aspects of the Watch in ambiguity.

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Liveblog: Time to answer all your Apple Watch questions

Ready to Spring Forward. Photo: Jim Merithew/ Cult of Mac

Ready to “Spring Forward?” Photo: Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

Apple is hosting a big media event today in San Fransisco for the hotly anticipated Apple Watch. It’s been about six months since the Watch was first shown off to world, but plenty of questions still need answering, like pricing beyond the $349 base model and when the wearable will go on sale. App demos should also be a big part of today’s presentation, because killer software will be instrumental in convincing people to buy an Apple Watch.

And who knows, there could always be some surprise Mac news.

The event starts at 10 a.m. Pacific, and Apple will provide a (hopefully working) live stream on its website. We’ll be breaking down all the news you need to know, with expert analysis and the usual pinch of sass. We invite you to follow along with us below. No need to refresh the page; the liveblog updates on its own!

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What’s inside Apple’s mystery tent?

Apple's tiny white tent nestles between buildings at San Francisco's Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. Photo: Jim Merithew/ Cult of Mac

Apple’s tiny white tent nestles between buildings at San Francisco’s Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. Photo: Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

SAN FRANCISCO — Another Apple event, another mysterious building sprouting up seemingly overnight. They pop up to shield Apple’s prep work from prying eyes, but they also fuel the imaginations of anybody who’s interested in Cupertino’s next move.

The latest such structure — this time with solid white walls and a tented, tarp-like roof — isn’t nearly as elaborate as the gigantic building erected before last fall’s Apple Watch event, but the mysteries concealed could be gigantic.

The big reveal comes at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts next Monday, when we will almost assuredly learn more about the Apple Watch (among other things). Until then, all we can do is wait and wonder: What could be hidden inside Apple’s mystery tent?

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Soviet space propaganda: rocket porn from the past

Space will be ours. Long live the first woman astronaut!

Space will be ours. Long live the first woman astronaut!

The Cold War and that whole mutual assured destruction thing sure made the space race fun.

Soviet space propaganda: rocket porn from the pastEvery astronaut strapped into a rocket and sent toward the stars was an ideological finger in the chest of the other side, each mission asserting who had the better technology or, more importantly, the most firepower.

The United States took its licks as the Soviet Union was first to launch a satellite, put a man in space (and then a woman) and execute the first spacewalk. Only after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon could the Americans begin to perceive they were finally winning the race.

But the Reds were absolutely unmatched when it came to using talented illustrators to make the average citizen believe their country would conquer the cosmic frontier.

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What to expect from Apple’s ‘Spring Forward’ Watch event

Apple is taking over the Yerba Buena Center in San Fransisco. Photo: Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

Apple is taking over the Yerba Buena Center in San Fransisco. Photo:Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

Apple’s March 9 “Spring Forward” event is just around the corner, and its tagline can only mean one thing: Apple Watch news galore.

Scheduled for the day after daylight saving time kicks in, we expect Apple to shower us with details about the upcoming wearable, including pricing and availability. Select Apple Watch apps from App Store developers will likely be shown off as well to whet our appetites for what’s to come.

While there’s a chance some new Mac hardware could share the stage Monday, we expect the event to focus mostly on all the unanswered questions surrounding the Apple Watch.

What are those questions? Glad you asked:

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