My SNL Script for Weekend Update

By

really

This new TV commercial for Microsoft’s new Windows Phone 7 inspired me to write a script for this weekend’s Saturday Night Live. No, really!

WEEKEND UPDATE SEGMENT
Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler

SETH

Microsoft this week unveiled its long awaited Windows Phone 7 to compete with the Apple iPhone and Google Android phones. The company also released a TV commercial depicting a world of people so engrossed in their cell phones that they fail in their jobs, neglect their kids and ignore the sexual advances of their spouses. To which people in the commercial respond: “Really!?!”

Which brings us to a segment we like to call, “REALLY!?! with Seth & Amy.”

<Applause>

SETH

Really, Microsoft? You made $62 billion this year but have to steal your TV commercial ideas from “REALLY!?! with Seth & Amy”? I mean, really!

AMY

Really! Microsoft says their new Windows Phone 7 is totally new and completely innovative. Really, Microsoft? Then why are you advertising with stolen shtick? I mean, really!

SETH

Really! And what are you trying to say in those commercials? That, unlike that horribly addictive and appealing iPhone, the Windows Phone is so repulsive that you’ll hate using it. I mean, really. That’s like a BMW commercial that says you’ll want to leave your shiny new beemer in the garage, or a McDonald’s slogan that goes: “I’m avoiding it!” Really!

AMY

Really!

SETH

Really!

AMY

Really Microsoft? You’re just coming out with the Windows Phone now? Steve Jobs unveiled the iPhone in January of 2007! No, really! That was three and a half years ago! I guess that’s better than the eight years it took you to come out with an answer to the original Macintosh.

SETH

Really?

AMY

Really!

SETH

The Windows Phone 7 will probably enjoy all the success of the Microsoft Zune. No, really. But if the phone does succeed, are you going to pay us royalties for developing the concept for your advertising? I mean really! Just make the royalty checks out to: “REALLY!?! with Seth & Amy.” (No, really!)

AMY

Really!

SETH

Really!

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