Apple rejects QuackPhone app for “minimal user functionality”

John Brownlee ()

Apple rejects QuackPhone app for “minimal user functionality”

Apple’s App Store Approval Process is often too arbitrary or subjective by half, but no matter how you feel about the latest app rejection to storm the newsfeeds, at least their rationale makes sense: QuackPhone, an app developed by Nick Bonatsakis of Atlantia Software, was rejected for “containing minimal user functionality.” In other words, the app — which made your iPhone quack like a duck — just didn’t do enough for Apple’s tastes.

From a critical perspective, it’s hard to argue with that logic: the App Store is already distressingly filled with lazily programmed and tasteless sound board apps that will allow your iPhone to simulate everything from the sound of a braying jackass to the flatulation of a loose rectum. A higher signal to noise ratio on the App Store is in everyone’s best interests.

But while most people can probably do without these kind of apps, the real issue with Apple rejecting them outright is the old slippery slope argument: exactly how much “functionality” does an app need to have to be approved on the App Store, and isn’t this sort of rejection just really a veiled editorial move on Apple’s part? If an app is open and honest about what it does, who is Apple to say that its users aren’t allowed to use it? If iPhone owners want their handsets to quack like a duck, just what’s the big deal, outside of Apple’s own arbitrary distaste at the concept?

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About the author

John BrownleeJohn Brownlee is news editor here at Cult of Mac, and has also written about a lot of things for a lot of different places, including Wired, Playboy, Boing Boing, Popular Mechanics, Gizmodo, Kotaku, Lifehacker, AMC, Geek and the Consumerist. He lives in Cambridge with his charming inamorata and a tiny budgerigar punningly christened after Nabokov's most famous pervert. You can follow him here on Twitter.

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Posted in iPhone Apps, News |

  • http://www.kevr1990.com Kev Robinson

    What about that ‘Mirror’ app that does absolutely nothing at all? This is useful compared to that.

  • http://jonathanbaldwin.co.uk Jonathan

    I’m with Apple on this one. It’s a waste of bandwith even storing it on the servers. Let the jailbreakers have it.

  • Ryan

    The problem I see is the lack of even handedness applied by Apple when it comes to these sorts of things. As pointed out, there are a ton of useless, garbage apps on the app store. Why should this one be rejected while zippo or fart simulators are accepted? It’s nonsensical.

    To me, the biggest issue is app store categorization and ease of use. We’re several YEARS in, and the app store is one of the major, if not the major, selling points of the iPhone and upcoming iPad. Yet, for whatever reason it is still a challenge to separate the signal from the noise. Personally, i’d rather Apple not make decisions on the usefulness of an app for me. What I would like to see is app store interface improvements that let me filter apps like this, perhaps a new category for ‘useless distractions.’ With a better name,
    of course. I don’t think the answer is for Apple to reject the noise outright, but to present it separately so we can make the decision ourselves.

  • Preston

    This is stupid….the point of this app is probably to be used while hunting…making it a functional app.

  • Charli

    Developers don’t like this, but Apple has a right to change the rules. This was pointed out in the terms and they agreed to it when they signed up.

    And buyers don’t like the fact that like any store, Apple has a right (outside of certain legal restrictions like obscenity and hate materials) to control what is and is not sold in their store.

    So if they decide that on second thought they don’t want fart apps, smut apps etc even though they used to allow them, that’s their right.

    If that bothers folks, vote with your wallet. Go sell your iphone and buy something else.

  • Camperton

    @ Jonathan

    You’re post indicates you think jailbreaking is only for silly crap like this. Jailbreaking has added functionality to my iPhone that has made it a significantly better device.

  • http://tuaw.com Mike

    For what it’s worth, this is not a new rule. Apps have been rejected for this reason repeatedly over the past two years.

  • http://www.hoggworks.com/ Brian Hogg

    The developers of QuackPhone need to get in touch with one of the developers of the various fart apps in the iTunes store, and give them some tips on how to get their truly useful apps accepted.

  • Me

    The iPhone already has a quacking duck sound effect built in. I use it in the timer.

    Therefore, utterly useless.

  • porkchop1234

    Who cares if another useless app got rejected. Personally I wish Apple would just burn all the chaff. I also agree with Ryan in that the app store has slowly become a nightmare to navigate through due to poor interface and thousands upon thousands of useless crap. The app store needs a whole new overhaul.

  • Stephen R. Stapleton

    “A higher signal to noise ratio on the App Store is in everyone’s best interests.”

    Not to be picky, but we want a LOWER signal-to-noise ratio. A ratio of 2:1 indicates for every 2 signals, one is useful. A higher ration, say 10:1, means there is only 1 useful signal out of 10. The ideal ration, 1:1, where all signals are useful, is the lowest.

  • http://MoonbeamDevelopment.com Moonbeam Development

    Over the past 3 days we’ve had a few of our apps rejected for this same reason “minimal user functionality” but today takes the cake!

    Apple rejected our Pledge of Allegiance app which lets you solute a US flag inside the app along with recite the pledge at the same time (written out). It also gives a bit of history and etiquette to follow while performing the pledge in public or private -

    Apparently Apple doesn’t think it’s worth distributing a “simple” yet decent app based on our Countries heritage in their app store.

    While we are already working on adding some sort of other functionality to get it approved, I feel like Apple has gotten to big for their britches!

    We have several other apps already published and have played by their rules for a year on-going.

    Richard
    MoonbeamDevelopment.com

  • http://www.sarahmonahan.com Sarah

    Hey Richard,
    maybe you should tell apple it’s for new immigrants like me who need to learn the pledge and other civics stuff for our citizenship exams.
    I’d love an app that would prep me for the civics test!