Shatter Alley Hates Bricks And You Equally [Review]

Shatter Alley

Video games have always had some weird vendetta against bricks. That paddle in Breakout, Mario, Simon Belmont in Castlevania … they all busted up blocks like they caught them stealing their lunches.

Shatter Alley by Dojotron
Category: iOS Games
Works With: iPhone, iPad
Price: $2.99

To be fair, Simon Belmont often found entire hams and stuff hidden in the walls of Dracula’s castle, so maybe some food thievery had happened. I don’t know; you tell me how those hams got there.

Regardless, Shatter Alley wants to bring the blockpocalypse back, and it does so in frantic, retro fashion.

Shatter Alley Hates Bricks And You Equally [Review]

Shatter Alley plays a little bit like Space Invaders only instead of a fleet of alien ships bearing down on you, you’re up against a relentlessly encroaching wall of evil, differently colored squares.

I don’t know if they’re actually evil, but they’re definitely starting something. Your job is to keep them from crossing the dashed red line onscreen by destroying them with your endless supply of deadly balls.

Shatter Alley wants to bring the blockpocalypse back.

One tap above the line serves a ball, and you tap them again to bounce them back. If you miss three returns or the blocks cross the line, you lose. And you’ll lose eventually, but you gotta take as many of those square bastards with you as you can.

Extra wrinkles include the balls adopting the color of the last brick they hit, and they’ll blast right through same-colored blocks on their return. And also, if you hit the top of the screen, the encroaching horde picks up the pace.

This game wants you to lose, more or less.

Shatter AlleyGame Name: : Shatter Alley
The Good: Frantic, endless fun for people who like a challenge.
The Bad: People who value fairness from their games are in for some disappointment.
The Verdict: It’s a neon-filled throwback to the glory days of arcades. And it’s hard.
Buy from: App Store – Shatter Alley – Dojotron, LLC

Cult of Mac rating: 4/5

About the author

Evan KillhamEvan Killham lives in Nebraska and isn't interested in football, so he has plenty of time to play and think about video games. He has written for Bitmob and GamesBeat and sometimes, he even goes outside. But not too often because he's heard there are bees out there.

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