Short of sexting and posting Facebook status updates illiterately quoting homonymously mangled Lady Gaga lyrics, few teen activities seem as ubiquitous as descending upon the local Apple store in one lolzoring, bubble-gum-smacking biomass and stupiding it up for everyone. Usually that stupid is pretty much confined to Photo Booth, but one New York teenager set a new record in Apple Store idiocy when he walked into the Apple Store at the Staten Island mall and typed up a terrorist threat.
According to 1010Wins, 17-year old Jason Barry walked into the store and wrote this note on one of the display Macs, signing it as a friend’s father.
I have threatened your store and all its employees with a bloody death … whoever the crew maybe working, or the innocent citizens that walk in … will be eliminated with the force of a… bomb loaded with C4, strapped to my chest.
Outside of the sheer moronism of gangly pubescent youth, Barry doesn’t seem to have had a reason for the threat. His typical toe-shuffling excuse of “thinking it was funny” is pretty weak, but as a stupid teenager up until the age of 29, I at least understand: imbecilically doing something “for laughs” and having it blow up to involve the police is practically a rite of passage for teenage males.
It’s sad in a way. I have no doubt Barry was kidding around, but he’s looking at a seven-year conviction and being on watch lists for the rest of his life. Not a great pay-off for such a lame joke: he’d have gotten a better pay-off with a simple pantsing.