Step Into The Octagon And Prepare To Suck [Review]

By

Octagon

I don’t need a game to constantly encourage me and tell me how well I’m doing or how good I am at playing it. I don’t need a game to take me by the hand and lead me along through its twists and turns. And I definitely don’t need a game to take pity on me if I’m not good at it right away.

Octagon by Lukas Korba
Category: iOS Games
Works With: iPhone, iPad
Price: $1.99

And that’s a good thing because Octagon, a new twitchy arcade title by (mean) developer Lukas Korba, isn’t interested in doing any of that. Octagon wants to hurt you. It wants you to feel terrible and incompetent, and I have reason to believe that it’s actively trying to get me to break my phone.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s still fun. But holy crap, is it difficult.

Your goal in Octagon is to get a rolling marble from one end of a course to the other. The track you’re rolling on has eight “lanes,” which is where that whole “octagon” thing comes from. Your path is segmented and full of gaps, and you stay on target by tapping on the left or right sides of your screen to move in those directions. Sometimes, you need to get to the opposite side of the track (bottom to top) in a hurry, and you swipe up to make your ball Spider-Man on up there.

You’re going to fail. A lot.

And that’s basically it. You’re going to fail. A lot. And every time you do, the game will tell you what percentage of the level you’ve completed and compare it against your best attempt. So you’ll think you just did really well and were almost there, and then you’ll miss a lane, and the game will be like, “Yeah, you were 12.3 percent of the way through that level. ‘Good job.'” And you will hate it.

But you both know you’re going to try again, and that’s why it can be such a jerk about it.

OctagonGame Name: : Octagon
The Good: It’s quick to learn and a good challenge. And the music is still stuck in my head.
The Bad: I HIT THE THING! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? And the music is still stuck in my head.
The Verdict If you’re easily frustrated, or you haven’t gone through Seth Brundle’s telepod with a cat, it may not be for you. But if you’re looking for a fast, tough game that doesn’t give a darn about your feelings, go for it.
Buy from: App Store

[rating=game4]

Newsletters

Daily round-ups or a weekly refresher, straight from Cult of Mac to your inbox.

  • The Weekender

    The week's best Apple news, reviews and how-tos from Cult of Mac, every Saturday morning. Our readers say: "Thank you guys for always posting cool stuff" -- Vaughn Nevins. "Very informative" -- Kenly Xavier.