All I wanted for Christmas was a Little Nook

Leigh McMullen ()

Nook

This was supposed to be my Nook review. I ordered two way back in early November. I was supposed to be telling you all about the Nook’s awesome-touchiness, fast page turning, loaning books to friends and even giving a short primer on how you can check out books from your local library and read them on your Nook, something Amazon’s Kindle could never do with its proprietary formats.

But I’m not, because it ain’t here.

It isn’t here, despite being assured it would arrive by Dec 12th, then reassured it would get here by the 18th–and then further assured when it didn’t ship Monday, that BN.com was gonna ship it super-expedited-over-night-air to make it on time.

It isn’t here and it isn’t gonna be on Friday.

Of course they did ship yesterday, if you call strapping it to the back of a turtle and pointing him in the direction of my house shipping it.

I am assured by BN customer service it will get here Monday, just one business day after their revised, revised again, and yes we really mean it this time, promised date –unfortunately that will be one day too long; since me and my little ones will be heading off to Grandmas house Sunday.

Barnes & Noble, you totally Grinched my Christmas, and I wrote this just for you:

(sung to Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie”)

It came into this world as a prospect
Look into its screen
You can see the covers of your books
Loan ‘em to your friends
Read ‘em in the store
Every page you turn makes you want it even more

DON'T MISS
E-Reader Price War Begins

But Hey I think about the day
Barnes & Noble ran away with my pay
When it came delivery day
Now it’s stuck in transit in that truck
And I’m just a sucker with a lump of coal

Hey, like a chump… Hey, like a chump… Hey, like a chump

[Chorus]
I did it all for the Nookie
C’mon
The Nookie
C’mon
So you can take that bookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!


Why did it take so long?
Why did I wait so long, huh?
To ship it out? but you didn’t
And I’m not the only one underneath the sun who didn’t get it

6 comments »

About the author

LeighMcMullen

Leigh McMullen leads the Advisory Services & Strategy practices for the professional services arm of one of the Big-Five firms. He has written several books that would cure any insomnia you might have, and is an avid Mac junkie.

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Posted in News, Opinions, Reviews, Top stories |

  • Tony

    And, what’s more, the nook sucks big time. I spent an hour at my local B&N last night playing with one and it’s slow, way, way slow.

    The touch screen navigation at the bottom was designed by a freshman IT student. Unless you have very tiny fingers, it’s going to be nearly impossible to use. There’s no consistency to the design of the various option screens and generally all you end up doing is going back to the home screen.

    The fact that B&N has the worst free wi-fi ever can’t help.

    I’ve no idea how it stacks up against the Kindle and it’s good that you can actually get to use one before buying one is good but on my exhaustive test, it seems rushed to market.

  • http://www.grinningidiot.com JAYnLA

    Is anybody else refusing to invest in such a device until Apple’s tablet is revealed… or is it just me?

  • Chowder

    @JaynLA…yes, it’s just you…

    Rule number one with any electronics, including airplanes and toilets….never buy/use the first version…

  • John

    Can’t buy one at all here in NZ so quit whining.
    Stupid publishing territory garbage even makes kindle annoying. Most of the titles I want are not in my region. So amazon now think I live in the US.
    The old guard just don’t get it. The Internet has no borders. I can buy from a US store from my loungeroom in NZ on the other side of the world. Books aren’t even big. They are smaller than music files and a coue of orders of magnatude smaller than video which I already get from anywhere I want.
    In the end I will keep buying e-pubbooks when I can find them, and kindle books when they are cheap enough ( I bought ‘Diamond Age’ from the us kindle store for US$7 as it was US$11 from the asiapacific store. Hang on, the data doesn’t have to travel as far. What’s going on?)
    it is the content that matters in the end. Not the device you read it on.

  • TonyC

    Additionally, you can only loan a book ONCE and only for 14 days, and then you can NEVER LOAN IT AGAIN!!

    Again, that’s only if the publisher agrees to let you loan it even once. Half of the books available on Nook are not loanable.

  • lisa

    nook is the most frustrating gift ever. my dear daughter looked forward to this thing for a month…then received it and it is stuck forever on formatting. so of course, we call customer “support” but get to listen to half in and half out hold music for, well, 50:16 seconds. Of course we have a second line going, and this time we shared with the customer ’service’ rep who was going to put us on hold, how long we were into the wait on our first line…she said literally thousands of people are suffering with this miserable product. we definately know this is a bad product and will be returning it for a kindle!!!!