I’m strictly a cash-only kind of guy. I like my purchases to be anonymous, I like to deprive the credit-card companies their slice of the transaction, and above all I like the feel of the greasy, germ-laden slips of paper in my fingers. 1
However, I recognize that sometimes you just don’t have any cash. Like when you’re supposed to be splitting the dinner bill and your friend ends up paying yet again because you “don’t want to split this fifty.” Well now your sorry payment-dodging days are coming to an end, my friend. Why? Square Cash.
With Square Cash, I can give you money instantly, and without even using Square’s trademark white cuboid card reader. Or even a card. Nope, I just pull out my phone, e-mail you with the dollar amount in the subject line, and copy email@example.com in on the mail. That’s it. I can even add a message like…
I know the bill was $50, and I owe you $25, but you had most of the mineral water so I took off my half of that. Cool? So here’s the $22.34. And I’ll totally get the tip next time. I promise.
The cash is sent straight to their debit card, which means, I guess, straight to their bank account.
Currently the trial is invite-only, but imagine how it will be when everybody has this? My low-life friends won’t be able to leach off me ever again. And maybe Leander will finally start paying me for writing on Cult of Mac. It’s been over a year now and he’s still not answering my calls. Maybe I shouldn’t have insisted on him mailing me envelopes stuffed with cash?
- True story: In my bar and restaurant-running days, I would lick my thumb to help count the bills in the day’s take. And sometimes my tongue would go numb, presumably from cocaine residue. ↩