There’s so much wordplay to be had in this post that if I start now, I might just forget to write about the product itself. So if you want dick jokes and Star Wars references, you’ll find them at the end of this post. In the meantime, let’s take a look at Richard Solo’s horribly-named FreeWheelin Audio System For Helmets.
The FASH, as I shall call it to further belittle the stupid name, is a pair of speakers and a mini amp which attaches to any helmet. It’s good for construction workers so they don’t annoy the neighbors with their damn radios, and for cyclists, because it doesn’t cover the ears and drown out traffic.
The system uses Bluetooth to grab music, podcasts or audiobooks from your iPhone, and it’ll even work as a hands-free speakerphone. The kit comes in three pieces: two speakers to mount near your ears and a receiver/amp that can be stowed on the back. Be careful about mounting them, though, as you don’t want to impair the helmet’s function — protecting your noggin.
Each speaker puts out 2 watts, and the kit will run for 15 hours for music (10 hours talk time or 40 hours via the 3.5mm cable).
It’s also water resistant, and it costs $150.
Now, onto the fun. Given the obviousness of the gags, I should just let you write them yourself. But of course I won’t. “Richard Solo,” like Han Solo, is clearly a euphemism for what my father calls “self abuse.” And the Star Wars connection continues with the design: as Bike Hugger’s David Schloss points out, the two head-mounted blocks make the wearer look like Lobot. Albeit Lobot in a bike helmet.