Scoopertino: Apple to Re-Release Apple II, the Computer Which Started It All [Humor]

Apple II rerelease sm

Breaking fake news site Scoopertino is reporting that Apple has decided to take a retro approach with their new product offering, a re-release of the venerable Apple II microcomputer. An Apple press release (apparently) notes:

The Apple II gave birth to the computer industry. Now it’s pregnant again — this time with unlimited possibilities.

The “new Apple II” represents a refreshing step back in performance and complexity. A 1MHz processor combines a lack of Ethernet, WiFi and USB ports to prevent any distractions as you run the included recipe manager and electronic checkbook software.

Scoopertino reports:

Apple is leaving nothing to chance with the new Apple II, working with partners to seduce customers with a rich ecosystem. Intel is developing an even slower chip to power a newer new-generation Apple II. Adobe, eager to make peace with Apple, will unveil an all-text version of Photoshop.

With vintage Apple products commanding record prices at auction, it looks like the Mothership wants to get in on some of the action. As Scoopertino also notes:

Where most people see a museum piece, Apple sees a new revenue stream.

The new Apple II ships on May 14th at a starting price of $4995. AppleCare sold separately.

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  • Charles Dixon

    I loved my apple IIe so much, I still have it. Say what you want, but AppleWorks was pure genius!

  • MacMeUp

    I was born 13 years after Apple II was originally introduced. Regardless, it would have been better if they said: “Apple introduces new Apple II software update – Apple IIc Plus.1.02″.
    Would those of you that own an Apple II sacrifice the nostalgic OS?

    …also, someone with the skills should photoshop a new MacBook Pro or iMac into this photo…
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/Apple_II_advertisement_Dec_1977_page_1.jpg

About the author

Adam RosenAdam Rosen is an Apple certified IT consultant specializing in Macintosh systems new and old. He lives in Boston with two cats and too many possessions. In addition to membership in the Cult of Mac, Adam has written for Low End Mac and is curator of the Vintage Mac Museum. He also enjoys a good libation.

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