Imagine buying a paper magazine (remember those?), only instead of pages it just has a cover and a hole in the middle. Into this hole you place your iPad, which you then use to read the magazine’s contents. Useless, right? But that’s (almost) exactly what Hasbro has done in a desperate attempt to bring its board games into the 21st century.
Hasbro is taking its dullest bored-games and trying to inject a little pizazz. These “zAPPed” versions are exactly the same as their cardboard-and-plastic counterparts, only the messy mechanics are taken care of using free companion apps.
The first of these time-wasters is the zAPPed Game of Life. You still get to move your player pieces around a board, but the iPad sat in the center is used to “spin, get paid, sue other players and make important decisions.”
Clearly the first “important decision” should be to shoo everyone else away and fire up Jetpack Joyride instead. Or just punch yourself in the face, which would also be more interesting than Game of Life.
The zAPPed game is available now for $25, and the iPad app is free.
But it gets worse. The boredom will rise in June when Monopoly gets zAPPed, and the ennui will crescendo in September with the release of Battleship. I can’t wait.