Really Love Your iPad? Maybe It Needs An Elastick Strap-On To Give You Love Back

Really Love Your iPad? Maybe It Needs An Elastick Strap-On To Give You Love Back

The image above would seemingly brook no further comment without sniggering. To all appearances, it is a prosthetic to strap onto your iPad, possibly for use with some tele-dildonics app that snuck by the App Store review process. But looks can be deceiving.

Really Love Your iPad? Maybe It Needs An Elastick Strap-On To Give You Love Back

The Elastick Kickstarter project isn’t meant to be crammed into any of your orifices. Rather, it’s just an unfortunate looking kickstand for your iPad, aimed mostly at musicians.

We’re not really sure how many musicians are going to want to hold onto their iPad by a phallus, but if you’re one of them, you can pledge $40 to get an Elastick when they’re released.

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  • Cold_dead_fingers

    This thing just looks stupid.

  • Jorge Fimbres

    ewww, WTF with this post?

  • swengoodwood

    How about mounting it on the screen side of the iPad 2 and sitting it on the floor facing up, for a little FaceSquatTime?

  • swengoodwood

    How about mounting it on the screen side of the iPad 2 and sitting it on the floor facing up, for a little FaceSquatTime?

  • theoPhobia

    The product is epic fail, but your comment is epic win!

  • prometheus1981

    I guess that the designer/s have never seen a strap-on before because I can see how this design might look good and be practical at the same time, but my first impression was that this was some perverted sex-toy made for the iPad.

  • Ed_Kel

    The stand makes sense if you need to mount the device like the picture on the left. Otherwise, this thing just looks plain stupid.

  • JessicaSarah9020100

    I just p a i d $21.87 for an i P a d 2-64GB and my boyfriend loves his Panasonîc Lumîx GF 1 Camera that we got for $38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UPS.I will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LED TV to my boss for $657 which only cost me $62.81 to buy.
    Here is the website we use to get it all from,http://bit.ly/Bid1st

  • Figurative

    What they need to come up with is a corresponding mating orifice that connects to your Mac or PC.  This might make the process of syncing a little more fun.

  • Figurative

    Oh, does it come in a ribbed version?

  • Jay Floyd

    iProbe.

  • CamilloMiller

    WTF with you, retard. Grok irony or die, idiot.

  • prof_peabody

    I never thought I would make a comment like this but it makes a more attractive dildo than it does an iPad stand.  

  • prof_peabody

    Camillo, there was no reason to get abusive, and I think you need to read up on the definition of irony.  Try to keep the bad language to a minimum or at least only hurl it at those that hurl it at you first. 

  • prof_peabody

    It could have been intentional.  Every joy-stick ever made turned 180 degrees looks pretty much exactly like a penis.  The angle, the curve, the knobby top, it’s pretty much exactly the same. 

  • MacGoo

    Don’t feed the trolls Prof.

  • MacGoo

    No vibration alerts on the iPad, sorry girls.

  • CamilloMiller

    I’m sorry Prof, since I’m not a troll at all. I really get mad at people who can’t get even the basic rules of online commenting to a funny feature. My fault, next time I’ll try to be more subtle – as an exercise.

  • Guest

    I just paíd $20.87 for an íPad 2.64GB and my boyfriend loves his Panasoníc
    Lumíx GF 1 Camera that we got for $38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UP S.I
    will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I
    also sold a 40 inch L E D T V to my boss for $657 which only cost me $62.81 to
    buy.
    Here is the website we use to get it all from, http://to.ly/aXoC

  • David Shanahan

    Somewhere in the world Steve Jobs is crying…

  • gerenm63

    Actually, the picture at right is pretty cool, if you’re a musician. Looks like the thing is shaped to slide into microphone clip on a stand.

  • pixelbud

    Looks like they stuck it in a microphone stand to the right, which makes sense. But come on… straps?

  • Corbin Fawver

    thats nasty!!!

  • nthnm

    That is the best title of any article I have ever read on this site!

  • Andrew DK

    Always love your commentary John.

  • lslaa
  • Bitter Witch

    OMFG IT’S A DILDO.

  • Bitter Witch

    I hate when people don’t get the joke as well!

  • tracyhaynes

    crass and uncool.

  • Ed_Kel

    That’s what I thought when I saw it. Mount it right on a mic stand.

  • lslaa
  • lelh79r
  • Daibidh

    Wow!  After an article like this, you can actually censor comments with a straight face?!  Is it just me or has Cult of Mac joined the race to the bottom?  If you lower your standards of decency and professionalism, it only stands to reason the comment boards will soon follow.

    Don’t get me wrong, John said what we were all thinking but he could have handled it with a tad more professionalism and still been hilarious.  There is a time and place for everything.  Do you really want Cult of Mac to be that place, Mr. Editor?  I mean, way to differentiate your product!  Potty humor abounds everywhere on the net… and some of it is quite funny.  I just expect something different from CoM.  At least with Gawker properties, you know what you’re in for.  

  • lsl54
  • lsla588
  • brownlee

    I was the guy who moderated comments, Daibidh, and they weren’t moderated for being profane… they were moderated for being abusive. Also, one of the guys I moderated – Camillo — is a personal friend, and he didn’t take it personally.

About the author

John BrownleeJohn Brownlee is a Contributing Editor. He has also written for Wired, Playboy, Boing Boing, Popular Mechanics, VentureBeat, and Gizmodo. He lives in Boston with his girlfriend and two parakeets. You can follow him here on Twitter.

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